The critically-acclaimed series from Starz which combines sex, swords, sandals, more sex and lashings of gore, often gets a bad press for being historically inaccurate. But it has a great cast (well, it did for the first season and mini season) and some superb scriptwriting. It also sees the resurrection of that great Antipodean warrior Lucy Lawless, formerly known as Xena Warrior Princess.
While most of the best quotes fall from the lips of Batiatus, played to brilliant excess by John Hannah, there are others. Here is a selection of the top ten quotes from all of the series:
10. Varro, Crixus and Spartacus
Varro: Aurelia tells me Sicilia is a island blessed by the Gods. You must visit us there when you gain freedom.
Spartacus: I no longer concern myself with thoughts beyond these walls.
Crixus: And nor should you. A true champion dreams only of the arena.
Spartacus: And what does one dream of when he’s no longer a champion?
Crixus: Regaining the title from the thief who stole it from me.
I’m for wine and the embrace of questionable women.
The gods have seen it fit yet again to spread cheeks and jam cock in ass.
The Gods march us to fucking Olympus, only to piss on us from atop a wall!
6. Doctore (Oenomaus)
A Gladiator does not fear death. He embraces it. Caresses it. Fucks it. Each time he enters the arena, he slips his cock in the mouth of the beast, and prays to thrust home before the jaws snap shut.
5. (Good) Solonius
(To Batiatus) It’s taken many years and the price of blood, but now I finally see you for what you are. You’re a man who holds no one in esteem above himself, and I must thank you, because without your guidance, I would have never found nerve to rise up and betray those closest to me.
Ashur seeks merely what most men seek, cunt and coin!
(To Spartacus) You shit upon honourable agreements and press for fresh demands. Tell me Thracian, how will you pay for her release if found? Hmm? Her transport? Do you shoot magic coins out of your ass? If so, squat and produce!
Words fall from mouth as shit from ass.
Loses it big-time again:
That shit fuck! Beckons me to the city only to spurn me like a thin wasted whore. Once again the gods spread the cheeks and ram cock in fucking ass!
If you love Spartacus, check out our Top Ten Spartacus Deaths!